Each year, the first few weeks of December are spent in celebration mode - it’s the time when we hang out with family, friends, attend events, throw our party hat on, etc. After December 29th, our brains automatically shift into reflection mode - we start to think about how our year went, and how we want it to go in the new year. That automatic switch is pre-programmed, you don’t even know when it happens, it just happens. You grab a journal, or the notes app on your phone, and start to scribble all the things that you’re not going to do in 2023:
I’m not going to eat sugar
I’m not going to wake up late
I’m not going to engage in unnecessary arguments.
I’m going to stop spending too much money.
There’s all these things that we’re NOT going to do. January 1st hits, you’re at a restaurant and the waiter offers you a soft drink, and you beam with pride as you boldly state, “No thanks, I’m not doing sugar this year.” #BigEnergy. February rolls in, and you’re struggling with these things you’re saying “No,” to. By March, you’ve given up and you decide that you’ll try again, “Next Year.” My dear friend…this is a pattern, and you’re now on year only-God-knows of this pattern. I know you want to believe that it will be different this year, but it won’t be…until YOU’re different.
Over the years, I’ve been really great at stating all the things that I won’t do/don’t want in the new year - it’s the way I learned how to set resolutions. For the most part it has worked for me in hitting some goals. However, I’ve always felt like I was giving up something, even if it was favorable to my being. I still felt deprived. I’d go the extra mile to stop doing things, and maintain my discipline throughout the year, but I didn’t feel fulfilled.
Now here’s a game changer for you: a friend of mine said to me, “Adaora…thanks for sharing all the things you don’t want to do in the New Year. What about the things you WANT to? What do YOU WANT to do?”. I was stumped! I realized this was the missing piece in my resolutions. I was so focused on what I did not want, and built discipline around that….however, I wasn’t giving myself something to look forward to.
As you start this year, I want you to think about the things that YOU WANT TO DO. Don’t just set goals like, “Save N1 Million,” “Exercise More,” “Wake Up Early,” etc. These are not key goals - these are things that you plan to do in order to support WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. If you want to become a public speaker, you’re going to need to exercise so that you’re physically fit to be able to expend the energy required to engage with your audience. If you want to travel more, you need to save xyz cash. If you want to meet a romantic partner, you need to step out of your house more. If you want to be promoted within your organization, you need to figure out strategies to gain more visibility in the company.
Here’s a GOPD method that I learned in Dharius Daniel’s Mentorship Program -
GOAL: First you set a Goal - what do you want to accomplish? What do you want?
OBSTACLES: What’s stopping you? Both perceived & real. (You need to be honest about this).
OPTIONS: What are the different options to be able to achieve this goal? ie. How can you get there?
DECISION: Which option are you going to go with? Do you want to struggle with the option that you choose? (You have to do this with consideration to what truly works for you - you know yourself best).
Here’s an example using the GOPD Method:
There are many angles to this. However for this example, I’m going to stick to one context so that it’s simple for you to grasp.
GOAL: I want to be physically healthier in 2023.
OBSTACLES: I don’t have control of what I eat, so my blood sugar levels are crazy.
OPTIONS (pay attention to this part):
I need to stop making frequent trips to the refrigerator throughout the day.
I need to avoid eating chocolates and candy.
I need to stop buying items that contain high sugar and replace them with items that contain less/no sugar.
DECISION: I struggle with self-control when it comes to sugary foods, so I’ll just stop buying items with high sugar. This way, I don’t have them as an option at home. Instead, I’ll replace with low/no sugar items.
I find this GOPD method to be super powerful in drilling down to decisions that will help you truly achieve your goals this year. Most people jump from the goal to the decision. You must face the obstacles and explore the options - that’s where the work is.
Again I ask you, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I wish you Strength, Peace, and Joy in this new year.
I’d wish you Prosperity, but that’s already given.
Peace & Love,
x
Lumina
Love the GOPD formula so much! Reminds me of the WOOP formula I learned during my social wellbeing study.
W – Wish
0 – Outcome
0 – Obstacle
P - Plan
It's basically a system for making sure our wishes don't just stay wishes, but eventually become actualised! As always, thank you for sharing 💕