Wait...You Don't Know This Guy?
For many popular people, the fastest way to deflate their ego is to say that you don’t know them. I once dated a guy that didn't know who Fela was. We were deep in a conversation where I referenced Fela and he said in his thick American accent, "Fay-La? Who's that?” I wish I could accurately describe my shock in writing. I was visibly upset as I tried to share Fela's story with him. I was like.…“Wait? You've never heard of Fela?” I went on to mention various references that I hoped would trigger a light bulb moment for him. Perhaps, if I listed out all Fela's work, he would remember that he knows this legend. But....Nope. Dude didn't know who Fela was. (No. This isn't why we broke up).
On a trip to Sri Lanka, I was in conversation with someone, and I mentioned Barack Obama, and they had no clue who that was. “Bruh,” I said...”Former President of America.” The guy gave me a blank face. He said he had no clue who that was. I quickly pulled out my phone and showed him a picture, and he said..."Madam, I've never seen him before." It was difficult to continue my conversation after, because I needed him to have some previous knowledge of Barack, in order to understand the context of the point I was making.
There are many lessons in this story, but I'll share a few:
Ego is the enemy. If you tie your identity primarily to being known by the world, you will be deflated the moment you run into someone who doesn't know you. There are 7.8+ Billion people in this world. They're not all going to know you.
You must learn to carry on conversations with people even if they don't know what you're talking about. Share with them. Explain to them. Don't get frustrated because someone doesn't know.
It's okay to introduce yourself, we don't all know you. I can't count the number of times I've met someone that everyone else knows and they go, “Wait...you don't know this guy?" I'm like...”Nope, but he can introduce himself now though.” No harm. (Sometimes, I can see the person's energy deflate). Personally, I don't assume anyone knows me. I will introduce myself.
Don't date anyone that doesn't know who Fela is. (This one is a joke O)!
xx
Adaora ‘Lumina’ Mbelu
Mama Adaora😭😭. I love to read from you. Your words hits uniquely everytime.
Thank you for sharing this, ma.
Any guy that does not know Fela or Barack is cancelled. LOL. I really like to read your letters.