The Gift of Presence
This week, I lost a very close friend and sister of mine, and even as I try to process my feelings, I realize that I will miss the gift of her presence. We had such an “in the moment,” friendship. Whenever we met up, we weren’t occupied on our phones, or distracted by the other aspects of our lives. Even if we spent 15 minutes together, it would be 15 FULL minutes that felt like 2 hours, because we’d both be in that moment, listening to each other, and savoring the time we had. It was an intentional friendship, and we spent valuable time with each other.
I have relationships with many people; it’s one of the things that comes with being a public figure: I’m continuously meeting and connecting with new people. However, most of these relationships run on autopilot: an emoji in the dm’s, a quick Hi!, Hello!, and an occasional, “we should meet up….”(aka the meet up that never happens).
The world is becoming more isolated by the day, and I think we need to make a choice to be present in the moments where we interact with the people in our lives. We’re continuously scrambling for more time, and more hangouts, but we’re not making an active choice to use that time in a way that the impact is truly felt. As humans we need connection, and unfortunately this rarely happens in this technology-driven world. We just show up out of courtesy…we call it “showing face.” It’s very easy to tell when someone is mentally absent from a shared moment - sometimes they’ll say, “go ahead I’m listening,” but they’re busy trying to keep track of multiple things at the same time.
I think you’re either available or you’re not.
The best gift you can give the people in your life is the gift of presence. I think that presence is such an underrated gem. Don’t just show up physically, be there mentally too. This is how you create beautiful memories. Quality time is great, but quality presence is next level.
Speaking of intentionality and gifts, I have one for you! Yesterday, I dropped the Official Dance Video for “All I Need,” the first single off my #HeartCheckAlbum. I’d love for you to watch it, and leave a comment on my YouTube channel - I’ll be reading your message. Share it with your friends too!
xx
Adaora ‘Lumina’ Mbelu