1. If you want to be able to find answers to your problems, you have to pull away from them first:
Whenever a problem arises on our path, it’s easy for us to get pulled into the problem and amplify it such that we get lost in it. In our search for a solution, we end up creating conspiracy theories and stories, that draw us further away from what we seek. The irony is that the more we look at the problem, the less we see. At some point, the problem becomes our identity and it is as though we cannot see any way out of it. When this happens, the best way to deal with it is to first detach from the problem. It’s a very tough thing to do. In fact in the moment where you try to detach, it will seem as though things are going to fall apart further because you have chosen to look the other way. But you literally have to look the other way. The solution to your problem is in that “other way.” When you distance yourself from the problem, you start to see it for what it is - something that either can, or cannot be solved. If it cannot be solved, you have no business dwelling on it. If it can be solved, then at least you can start to work on it from a place of clearer vision.
Sometimes, I get writers block in the middle of writing these newsletters. In the past, I would sit in front of my laptop until blood forms in my head and then I’d get frustrated and might let out a few cuss words at my screen. The downside to this is that I started to become less interested in writing these letters because they felt too much like work, versus joy-filled sharing. I quickly learned how to deal with this. Whenever writer’s block shows up, I simply shut down my computer and go about my day, until something pops up in my mind to continue writing. We don’t win by forcing our creativity or our thoughts. We win by pulling away, giving space, and then returning with good energy to manifest exactly what we wanted in the first place - sometimes even bigger and better.
2. Be compassionate to yourself:
No matter how upright and kind you try to be, you will have an off day. It’s just what it is — an off day. Most times, I am aware, kind, calm, and emotionally intelligent. However, I’ve had moments where I was the complete opposite of who I am. If that makes any sense. Some people say that who you really are is the character you show when no one is looking. I don’t necessarily fully agree with that school of thought. I agree in the context of not creating a false persona/being a hypocrite. But it’s important that you know there will be off days when no one is looking. In the heat of the moment, I have said hurtful things to people. I have also actively made a choice not to give someone a gift simply because they misbehaved - #PettyWap. In those moments, I’ve found myself feeling upset at my decision and wondering if I am truly experiencing spiritual growth in my life. I mean…how is it possible that on one hand I’m super aware, and growing every day. On the other hand, I’ve engaged in a petty distraction? The only answer to this is that growth is a journey not a destination. Every single day, you have to work towards becoming a better version of you. And when you act contrary to what you believe in, don’t beat yourself up. Be compassionate to yourself, because you need you to remind you that you are you, and you’ve got you. *boom!
Quote for the week:
Being human is not about being any one particular way; it is about being as life creates you—with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities. - Kristen Neff
New Podcast Series: “Success Is…”
Stay tuned for details next week. In the meantime, hit the button link below to check out a few episodes that dropped last week.